I have been living in hostel for 2 years now. One of the closest friends i have made here, his father has passed.
He has gone to his home, messages me that 'ab chhole samose khane se pehle bhi sochna padega', 'Jisse roz call atithi ab wo number not reachable jaa rha hai'.
I never had to face these circumstances. How to reply, when to call, what to say now when he comes back to hostel...
I dont know. Tomorrow is my exam, today was the worst day of these 2 years. Scared of reality now.
>>49641
C'mon this is just emotional for no reason, his father probably wouldn't have gave a shit if you died or you got unsuccessful or something, he only would've cared about his family.
Don't overthink it. There isn't a "right" thing to say in situations like this, and you don't need to come up with something profound. Just acknowledge his loss and let him know you're there for him.
When he messages things like that, don't try to cheer him up or change the subject. A simple "I'm so sorry, man. I can't imagine how hard this must be. I'm here if you need anything or just want someone to listen." is enough.
If you want to call him, text first and ask if he's okay with a call. He might be busy with family or not feel like talking, and that's okay.
When he comes back to the hostel, don't avoid the topic or act like nothing happened. Just tell him you're sorry about his dad, and then follow his lead. If he wants to talk, listen. If he doesn't, just be there. Sometimes grabbing a meal together or sitting quietly with someone means more than finding the perfect words.
At the end of the day, people usually don't remember the exact words. They remember who showed up.
>>49665
No yaar you are one of the few people on this site who can actually give good advice
I thank you ananwa
Everyone else is busy in posting caste race religion and other shit
>>49667
Really?!?!
finally someone who sees my replys as genuinely interactive.
It bleeds my heart that I make good threads but get ignored with either baiters or no reply.
I believe this board can be so much more yet it's so less so I do what I can.
>>49671
Noo i wish I talked to girls more.
i had my best friend lose his father in 8th class I did not know how to console him to tell him that even if i don't know his pain it pains me that I could not understand his sufferings. To tell I'm there but in what capacity even I did not know that.
And then onwards i looked for ways to console and stuff.
I did not think i should reply but i genuinely don't want u to have any regrets like i did.
I pretended things were same and then i willfully thought he needed me to be there for him ignoring something big lost from his life.
So yea that's that.
>>49664
>>49679
This
Had a similar experience with my friend, his dad passed away in covid time
>>49612
Life is bizarre anon. No matter what, life keeps going. Back in my 2nd year of college, I was in a group for some practical. A girl from that group whom I had talked to the first time during that practical, died the next day in a car accident.
It was the first and the only time I had interacted with her kek. It felt really weird, people who you don't think much about, or you care too much about are impermanent in the end.
Everyone dies, some die sooner or just tomorrow, who knows!
