College mate. Did nothing. Enjoyed his college life. Has a gf. Cheated in 2021 placement. Got a 50k in hand job out of college. Did fuck all. Smoked weed everyday , drank flew to chennai , travelled drank with his seniors. Every month go on trip with his friends. As aesthtic instagram. Last time I saw him was talking with a office girl alone.
vs me
Did nothing in college. Went to college , then straight to room where i played , games or watched movies / anime till nigt then masturbate and repeat this for 3 years. Didn't even travel to a nearby parks and shit.
Thought i was a coder. Would learn basic of cool new languages. installed linux distros on my lapotp. solved simple leetcode. I knew i was wrong .Didnt cheat. Got humiliated in my first interview 8 LPA got so low confidence that I started skipping interviews after clearing the coding test. Finally settled for a 20k per month job.
Instead of fixing my life I straight went into cope hole. I surrounded myself with gaming. I kept gaming all day after work. I was good at my work. I quickly did it and always went back to gaming. Years passed. Life started going shit. Have no friends in office nor in real life. Family doesnt treat me right. i have quit gaming now.
I just turned 28 lying in my bed.
From exterior I look well piut together. But then people ask my personal question. Then they realise I'm just hollow. I know nothing about places near my hometown , I know nothing about places around my college. I know nothing about places where I worked. I have never been to club , pub , restraunts , date , famous places.etc
First I would tell the truth. Then I realised they started treating me worse and spread the same info to eveyone and they too start treating me worse.
So now I lie. I keep lying. I get anxiety when someone starts asking me personal questions. I just hVe to lie.
inb4 go outside
I do. When I do the people outisd treat me like a 28 year old who has experienced it all but I haven't snd them the same thing like office happens outside.
I m trying but idk if its even worth it.
Confidence is key.
You can still change if you want just switch and try yo be More social with them. Best thing yo make friends learn yo larp. Alos office mate are waste of time they forget you completely once you switch as you already lost the commin ground. Try to be more ambitious then you sure will get better job.
You are literally me except im only 24, i am so inexperinced when compared to an avg guy in mid 20s. Its because i never had any real friends to experince anything with. I mostly alwasy do things on my own and go to places on my own if i ever do. I manage other things by lying but not having a gf part is where i fumble, you cannot larp that. Its really humiliating feeling and others look at you in a very weird way like you are a loser.
>>258546
I can understand. Having gf is normalised for early 20s adults now. It was fine for me before but yeah that gf question comes to me too now. Now I just deflect it by saying Im at a marriage age.
tbh I did it all to myself. As the above poster said and I also realised I just lacked confidence before. No matter how bad my situation was I should have not lost confidence.
