>>17575
I was feeling miserable today, but I got up and did something, and I feel okay. I'm lonely, that's the thing. I guess its just a period of life, I live, a very strange life, in a sense I have been blessed entirely. I have things I cherish so much, and I feel, wonderful to be me, but.
>>17576
I feel wonderful to be myself, I, I don't want to brag(?) but I don't also want to diminish myself, I'm talking to myself here, I am, glad that life takes me on detours, it always has, and essentially it's parental, they created this for me. Sometimes my life really starts to feel like it, though. At moments I forget it all and become narrow, I become shallow and tired, and impatient, but I havent been so for a long, long while. I feel good. I feel, happy?
>>17582
A weird, path and a weird life lends itself to obvious quirks, I don't think I have any immediate quirks, but I think life itself, the way I am introduced leads me to be a stranger. I quite literally, just cannot seem to find friends, at all.
>>17584
I'm currently adrift, even if I wanted to I could not make many "friends" as such, people who remember me, everyday, I have people, but, its not the same anymore. When you've been born to people who reject the Indian cultural norm, they create weird chimeras like me who roam and wander.
>>17586
What sparked this post? An old childhood friend of mine, called me after a long while, I was in town and we met, and I guess some other people told him, I was bisexual, or atleast they were talking about an ex-bf of mine, and I guess I was wrong about how people are, because he blocked me? On instagram, on whatsapp, he said some sort of, weirdly strange things before he did, about how I've "become". I dont expect him to understand but, he just, left all of it like that.
>>17587
He was one of the only people Id constantly kept in touch with and I understood his religious views. Hell him and I are the same essentially. I miss having friends now. I am not introverted at all I can, talk to people but its all, just scattered, all just people passing by.
>>17588
Despite it all. Today, I feel okay. I feel like myself, I feel free. I feel like crying almost, some weird form of beauty, is overcome, maybe it's just, everything coming back to me. I miss having people, and I do miss, having friends, I dont know what friends are anymore? People I meet in life, I just happen to, its all busy, they and me get busy, thats life, sure I know but. Do you ever not miss the feeling of being connected to something? And not being a stranger? all the time? everywhere?
I don't know where I'm going, but Im sure deep down im on the right path, Ive always been on the right path. I feel a quell of screaming cries within, I feel it heavily. I feel it a lot right now, It's like fettered droplets of rain on your cheek that are so cold, they're small and nothing to worry about but it's pricking you. It feels like how it did in Cali, I feel again, (thats why I posted those trees) I feel again emotionally drawfed within giant redwood trees, I feel like, I feel like as a child when I watched movies, these somber art-house movies in the 2010 times, giants, trees, the somberness, the 2010s dear god, Im sorry I wont make sense to anyone, It's all in my own context.
It feels like picrel, like ireland, like the shores in St Andrews West Sands Beach, it feels, cold and green, but also, it feels like, Oregon, it feels like the world is after a dance somewhere else, and you've arrived in a place that's out of its trend, too early or too late years.
>>17594
makes me sad, you opened my thread to call me a schizo and ask for a ban? did u even read anything? Why is this board always just, so generic with its insults, it's like a low quality sorting algorithm, outdated and without context. You had so much to insult me with, yet you chose the lamest and most meh of responses, do better.
>>17575
Sorry i got all, strange and mystical for no reason. Concretely work, my work has been going good. Today was a day that would have been wasted entirely due to, whatever it is that lays wastes to days months years, but I didnt waste it, and I feel good about that, and I've been keeping good for a while now, I cant help but somehow, celebrate it everytime I sit down and feel, anew, I feel how I was always supposed to be? I still feel a fear, of losing it, but, not right now.
