/b/ - Random

It is about 12:30 as I write this. I spent my second week or, was it 10 days, I could recall but I don't wish to, I spent these days sick, doing nothing, feeling miserable like I used to as a child. It's, it's strange how misery follows you around, you can change everything but the familial flavour of fierce forlorn hope follow you, everywhere. It's like I had lost whatever spark I'd slowly managed to develop within myself, this is also because I went to my father for advice, at the wrong time, both for him and me. But I felt good yesterday and the first thing I put on my agenda was to get out, and swim again. I had indeed signed up for a club sort of thing here, so I had my pass ready, and I swam yesterday, and I knew it would change everything, and it did, somewhat. At night I felt this, this strange thing that I feel, I felt it everyday in India, as I was swimming and rowing constantly, maybe physical prowess gives you some sort of insight, some courage and wisdom, and it returned yesterday, killing all fear and instilling a physical sensation of protection and strength literally in my chest. Its weird, you could easily just give up, listen to doom and misery and that'll be your life, infact you'll rewrite history, your own history that is, to change your life into this story of misery. Im sitting here, im still very confused about my life, but Im grateful for all the opportunities Ive been given, I dont know what im doing exactly. And thats fine.