https://youtu.be/rptLcA0E4pshttps://youtu.be/rptLcA0E4ps
It's 4 fucking am, college is from 8 am to 4 pm. This is fucking 7th semester.
At this what kind of sleep will I even get when I need to be awake by 6:30, shitting pissing having bath and then breakfast. This life. Sucks. 21 year old, no job, no grades, khhv, ugly body, ugly face. I go kalej in 7th semester on autos and return in same, it's humiliating at this point.
>>152157
Nothing in this life feels real and controllable anymore. There is no freedom, no free will left, all I have become is a biological machine programmed to study day and night
>>152157
>https://youtu.be/rptLcA0E4pshttps://youtu.be/rptLcA0E4ps
Man, I used to watch this video like way back like in '22 or '21. I would put it on loop and watch it for hours. The promise of being loved having a woman to hold and protect was something that made me keep going, after the dissociative fever dream that was corona and 11th and 12th.
>>152170
I keep having delusions about manifestation and crap. I sometimes feel I can achieve, it I've achieved things before with manifestation. But at 4:35 AM the brvtal thoughts just hit you, of how weak and subhuman you once were, and how you never wanna go back.
I'm the only one here. Feels like being in a deserted place. during corona, I would just go out in the middle of the night and walk in my apartment complex at like 3 or 4AM it feels like that kinda. Screaming into the void.
