>>128233
дурной вкус - пластинки
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccMHSE3VEqghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccMHSE3VEqg
Listening to russian post-punk; I used to listen to a lot of it during my bhach era, it kinda got me through 11th and 12th, those were rather hard times in my life.
>>128233
The thing that was on bhach, which you don't really see here is people's experiences, their first love, their childhood humiliations, their traumas, people reminiscing over some stuff, the sense of of nostalgia pervaded bhach, you don't see that now here. Feeling nostalgia, over nostalgia.
>>128235
I hated my schooling, it was like being a bird in a cage, it felt like pure hell. Childhood was not fun, I felt like shit everyday of my life, I rarely felt happy. I wouldn't go back if you paid me.
>>128236
My first love; she had glasses, blue framed, kinda ugly. I forgot her name; anushka or anusha, one of the two, forgot her surname regardless. This was in like sometime between 5th or 7th grades, I forgot, they also seem so mushed together, as though it was from a foggy dream, I can only see her face through the lens of a clouded glass. I don't know why I liked her, I remember making jokes, and she laughed at them, she did like me, I knew it, I heard her talk to her friends. Nothing really came of it (and that was good, we were far too young). This other girl, I think I did like her, and I'm not sure how she felt towards me, this was much later, we did have a lot in common, we met each other recently just out of the blue. I don't know what I think about her. This other girl in 12th, we were opposing personalities, I was a meat eater, and she was vegetarian and a retard, I think she did dislike me strongly and my ailment, but she was inexplicably attracted to me, and vice versa, we did grope each other occaisonally, nothing came off it as well.
>>128235
>11th and 12th
Man, I didn't study a single fucking thing in those two years, I would go to school, fuck around, go to coaching and not understand anything at all come home and sleep, I didn't do shit, I felt like shit. I wouldn't do anything at all, untill the exams which I just studied enough to pass a few days and then didn't do anything. I was half asleep most of the time, and had chronic insomnia. My life was so fucking shit back then, god knows how I made it out. It was worse because I didn't study anything in the beginning so I didn't have the base knowledge I didn't understand crap, I understood genuinely nothing. I just studied at the end, I don't even know how I passed the board exams, that too I got more than 75% PCM somehow kek.
>>128239
The only notable thing was that I got into a fistfight at school, and the other guy almost started crying, people got scared of me after that, that was great, I felt good.
>>128239
>fuck around,
And by fuck around I mean sit at my desk half asleep and not do anything. I didn't even had friends. I had only one guy who I'd actually call a friend, I could discuss stuff with him. He once mocked my ailment, and then later apologised to me. He sends me reels today, he floods me with reels, he sends like a lot of them, I rarely send one or two, and hardly react to them at all. He's not a bad guy, but I don't want that part of my life back again. I wish he realises that on his own and stops trying to connect with me by spamming reels to me. I don't get attached to the old. We all have to move on.
>>128242
Things are much better now, I am studying something and in some college. I actually like the stuff. The only bad thing is that I am now a gambling addict, I play a shit ton of poker. I'll take gambling over any other vice though. It's far better and safer than drinks weed or drugs.
>>128243
>drinks
I only drank one time, not worth it, good fun regardless, being drunk (at low levels, I haven't been drunk drunk) is fun, you feel less inhibited. Not worth fucking your health over, it's only something once in while.
>gambling
Poker and sports betting are the only acceptable ones everything else is for retards, still it is quite stressfull, at times and I think it did age me a bit faster. I stopped playing as frequently as I did last year, and now play only once in a while.
